Adeline,
How can I even begin to express how much you have changed my life. I wish there were words to articulate the love I have for you. I am so blessed to be able to call you my daughter.

I wish you understood the true meaning of the words Thank You. Because of all the words in the world I can say to you, Thank you is just the beginning… Thank you for teaching me everything you know, and thank you letting me love you.

I never knew the love a mother experienced until you allowed me to love you. I never truly knew that love has no boundaries. Everything you do and say brings joy to my life and my world would be incomplete without you.

Dear Adeline,
Children are a constant reminder of what adults have become, and what we all used to be. You see the world, and are nice to everything in it (with the exception of ants, you like to squish those). You are polite, and courteous, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often. You don’t get in a rage when someone cuts you off at the slide, nor do you get angry when Chopper or Tank knock you down playing in the backyard.
Adeline, you remind me to be nice. You make me want to be a better person to people I know, and people I don’t know. You do this simply be being you. Amazing how someone who doesn’t try at all, can be so much better than those who try so hard.
Someday, you will grow up to be a great adult. Someday, you will be a leader, a founder, an explorer, an inventor and a teacher. I know this, because you are one now.
You are surrounded by people who love you and want to not only help you grow, but grow with you. The strength we see in you, you will eventually see in yourself. Your Daddy and I will be here to support every effort, and every challenge you face. No.Matter.What.
You have become so…. so…. you. I can’t put words to it.

Your vocabulary astounds us on a daily basis.
I knew we had a talker on our hands the day you came home and told me you and Daddy bought a plecostomus fish (“Mommy! Pa-cost-a-musss fiSH!”)
I knew we had a mathematician the day you counted to 10, then put up one finger, said “one” and put up another finger on the other hand and said “one”. You looked long and hard at both fingers and said “TWO!!!”. I was so proud that day!
and a scientist the day you put more than one color together and said “Look Mommy, Green!” (Even though it was purple… hey most scientists are colorblind right?)

Oh Addie, what am I going to do with you? You will be 2 in just one month. TWO! How on earth did you grow so fast? We have an exciting summer of gymnastics and play dates and trips to the zoo. Before you I know it, you will be coming home from your first day of school with pictures to hang on the fridge and macaroni necklaces.

For now, I guess I just need to accept the fact that you won’t be my little girl forever, but no matter what you will always be my daughter.

All my love,

Mommy.

Addie,

What a fun little person you have become, and so much has happened since my last love letter to you.

18 months have passed since you welcomed your Daddy and I into your world. I remember looking at you in my arms for the first time and thinking to myself, “How did this happen? How did we create a life?” I stopped asking questions I would never know the answer to and just watched you. Watched your body rest, watched your fingers curl and your toes wiggle. At that moment, I never thought of you as a Toddler.

This stage seemed so far away, and yet here we are. Here you are! And oh! How you amaze me! Lets ramble off a few recent accomplishments so I can stick I time stamp on them later. In the last few weeks your verbal skills have come so far, you know everyone’s name in our extended family and get such a kick out of saying “Tow-eea” (Victora) and “Show-ee” (Zoe). Daddy is one of your favorite people, and you are constantly running around looking for him saying “Daadddyyyy, Coming??”

The other day, when walking into the grocery store, you saw a silver van, you immediately started shouting Gaummie! Gaummie! Gaummie! (Grams Bobbi). I thought to myself, did you just recognize Grandma Bobbi’s Car?? Additionally, every Wednesday when I drive you to Grandma Stephs, we turn onto her street and you sing “Teff, Teff, Teff” to yourself in the backseat.

I still  have a hard time picturing you in the future, and yet, I’m ok with that. The last 18 months have gone by so very quickly. I think for now, I won’t try to picture you at age 2 or 5… but simply my independent little 18 month old girl.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Addie,
I am writing you your first letter since you turned one. I know I should date something like 1 year and 1 month… or 13 months, but if I keep writing to you in weeks will you stay little forever?

Little. I think that term is silly. You are 36″ tall and weigh 26 lbs. You are certainly not little. Just the other night, I went to check on you and I noticed just how big you looked in your crib. I wondered to myself, how long is this going to last. When do I have to get rid of the crib and get you the “Big Girl” Bed. You already have one ya know. It was mine, from when I was a girl. It’s hard to believe you are growing that fast. Of course, you have a toddler bed too.. So at least there is some solace in knowing I can gradually adjust to the idea of you in a big girl bed.

I cannot even begin to imagine just how full of wonder and curiosity your little head holds. My whole world has flip-flopped and I’ve begun to look at things a little different now. Day in and day out I see the same things, but each day you remind me to stop and touch, smell and laugh at things I may have completely overlooked. Who knew, while I was teaching you about the world around me, you would be doing the same for me.

I was listening to a CD the other day and started to tear up as I really listened to the words. I realized just how amazing you are. Just how amazing it is to watch you learn and grow. Everyone adores you and comments about your big blue eyes. “Amazing” is the word most frequently used. Your Daddy and I laugh all the time about how much trouble we will be in when you turn 15. But then, you’ll be 780 weeks old, so maybe you will still be Mommy’s little girl afterall.

I love you very much,
Mom

ALWAYS – PLUMB

Out of nowhere
You came
From a little dust
And a little rain
And when I looked down at
Your face
It showed to me
The truth and grace

I will always try to keep you very safe

So open up your eyes
So they can look in mine
And see a small reflection
And when you close your eyes
I pray the thoughts inside
Are beautiful and true

I won’t always
Be this strong
And I won’t always
Be the one
To kiss the bruise
Or heal the scrapes
To wipe the tear drops
From your face
But I will always love you more each day

Adeline,
One Year.

I let your daddy wake you this morning. As I lay in bed listening to him tell you happy birthday through the baby monitor, I thought to myself, “How did we get here? How did one year pass by so quickly?” I relished in that thought as you giggled and said good morning to the animals painted on your walls.

I didn’t want to get out of bed, for purely selfish reasons. I didn’t want you to look one. I didn’t want to admit that you were actually growing up. Next year you won’t be my baby anymore, you’ll be my toddler, you’ll be my big girl. You will be…Addie.

Oh Addie, my love for you has grown so immensely I cannot put it into words. A tear fell from my cheek this morning as I pictured you so small on your real birth day. Another fell when I knew I was going to get out of bed and see you, one. I took a few breaths and climbed out of bed, there you were in your high chair eating strawberries and toast with Daddy. You looked different. I am not sure how, but in my eyes you looked… older. I have seen you sit in that chair hundreds of time, and yet, I haven’t ever noticed the way you hold your spoon just so as you lift it to your mouth. I haven’t noticed how you raise your eyebrows just moments before a big 3 tooth grin crosses your lips. Why now? Why do I have to notice these things now, on your birthday. It makes it seem so much harder to accept the fact that one year has passed in just the blink of an eye.

I owed you this letter yesterday, but I couldn’t bare to spend one minute away from you. When you were napping in the morning, I lay down on the floor of your nursery and slept, but only partially slept. I wanted to listen to you breathe and dream. What do you dream? Do you dream of dogs and birds? of Mommy and Daddy? Of bubbles and bathtubs? I want to freeze time with each sigh you sigh in your sleep. I want to hold that peaceful moment in my heart forever.

My dearest Addie, you must know your Daddy and I love you. There is just not enough time to show you how much. As each day passes, and we express to you our love, we wish for just one more minute, just one more moment that we can kiss and hug you. Just one more second to let you rest your head on our shoulders, and just one more moment to be in your presence.

But one more minute is never enough, for as that minute passes, we wish for one more. And now, 525,600 minutes has passed, and for those 525,600 minutes we have loved you. We will love you no less for the next. For in another 525,600 minutes you will be two, and I will be writing you another letter about how I still love you just as much.

With all the love we can give, and just a little bit more,
Mommy and Daddy

“How old are you Addie?” ONE!

Adeline,
   My dear sweet child, I look back on photos of you just a few months ago, the milestones you were hitting and the discoveries you were making. Your Daddy and I were so thrilled when you rolled over, and how we coaxed you to do so. When you stood up on your own for the first time, when you laughed a forced laugh, just to make us smile.
   Now as you continue to grow and develop, you are able to “crawl the wall” and stand with no support. How proud we are of you! Simply hearing you say “mama” and “dada” brings a smile to our lips. Seeing you play with the “Da’s” is so much fun. Chopper has taken you on as one of his own and will protect you from all harm. Tank, well Tank just likes to lick your face after you eat bananas.
   Next month is your birthday! I cannot understand how time has slipped by me. At this time last year, people were wondering if you would show by June 1st. How I longed to meet you. How i wished I could just hold you in my arms, I more than anyone, wanted you to arrive. Just a few weeks later, you made your grand entrance into the world.
   You are so much more than I could have ever hoped for. You are so much more than I ever imagined. My love for you grows day by day and I cannot imagine my life without you.

All my love,
Mommy

Adeline,
Oh my, 40 weeks. Has it really been that long? Out as long as you were in. I hardly recognize the pictures of you as a newborn. I can’t picture you not being able to hold your head upright, or giggle when your Daddy tosses you in the air.

Child of mine, how the time flies. When I creep into your room at night to make sure you are warm, and that Chloe is near… that you have a nightlight and some toys to play with when you wake up, I can hardly picture you small, inside your crib.

Each day you become more your own person, real…with a personality to match.

As the morning light hits your window and you slowly wake up, I hear you stir and know soon the cooing will fill my room through the baby monitor that sits next to me. I hear you sit up, and take in your surroundings. Your toys and have awakened with you and conversation ensues. You to turn on the mobile and now your cooing is joined with the soft sounds of Beethoven or  Bach.  Every once in a while I hear you sigh, and I wonder… are you waiting for me? Are you waiting for me to come in and tell you it’s ok to start the day? But instead of disturbing your morning social, I’ll just listen… I know soon enough this time will be gone, and instead of waiting for the day to start because I say it’s time… you will run to me and let me know the sun has come up and now it is time.

And yet, while I can’t wait for the day to come that you climb out of your bed and join me in mine, all cuddly and warm… I still remember the days when you fell alseep in my arms and I was able to jusy hold you, and you were content. Those days are few and far between now. So I know the time that I get to listen to you tell your toys about what your plans are for that day will also pass all too soon.

So for now, I will lay here and listen to you tell your stories while Bach softly comforts you as you wait to start your day.

Oh my Addie,

It is possible you will never understand the joy you bring to me. Each morning when I wake you up and sing your good morning song we smile. You are happy to see me, I am happy to see you. How is it possible that while you are just in the next room, and I am only asleep for 5 hours, I manage to miss you during that time.

You are getting “so big.” So independent. So emotional. Every day you learn a new trick, a new face, a new way of getting my attention. Your Grams thinks you are spoiled, I have to say I agree with her. But how can I not spoil you with love and hold you every second of the day? I have so few hours with you between work and school…It’s no wonder I want to hold you. But you, are you and want to explore your new world, you don’t want to be held…unless other people are around, then you want me. Just me. I know by this, you love me.

You have outgrown almost all your clothes. We are now going into the bag of clothes I stored in the back of my closet because I thought you would never fit into them.

Your laugh is quite possibly the best thing I have every heard. I have done some of the strangest things just to hear it.  Fortunately, I have your little laugh (and your big laugh) on video and I can watch it everywhere I go.

The world seems to be so exciting to you. It must, you refuse to sleep for more than about 5 hours at a time on most nights. While you are content to sit or lay in your crib and talk to your toys, still I wonder what you saying to them and why you’re not sleeping or even the least bit tired.

Today is Wednesday, and I am in class. I have not seen you since 7:30 this morning. Now, it is almost 9pm. You are asleep I’m sure. I miss you, but I am doing this for us, so you can have a better life, so we can have a better life.
My love, my life, my Addie.

Love, Mom

My Dearest Adeline,

Today you are 28 weeks old, I know because I broke out the calendar. It seems like just yesterday you were so small and helpless. You cried and I held you. You were hungry and I nursed you, and now you are getting more and more independent as each day passes.

You are asleep now, in your very own crib. As I watched you dream I felt the need to tell you just how much I love you. No matter what your mood, when you are around me I feel better. I love to watch you look at things in wonder. The way you examine everything to death until a giant smile crosses your lips and you inhale with glee and excitement. I love the way everything is new to you. A gust of cold air to your face does not make you cringe as an adult would, nor do you say how much you hate winter and the cold. You simply look up at the sky as to say thank you to God for exposing you to this new season and new feeling. I love they way you wake up. The way your tired eyes brimmed with pink open ever so slightly as you let in the first light and realize your whole day has started over. I love the way you love my teeth and constantly put your fingers in my mouth to grab them, or are curious as to what lives inside my nose or ears. I love how you sneeze and how you laugh at yourself when you look in the mirror. I love how you smile and hug your Daddy when he holds you.

In no time you will be telling me stories and I will blog them so I can embarrass you with them later when you want to start dating. You will say things and I will post them tagged “Kidisms.” You will no doubt resent me at some point in time for all of this. But I will always remember the days before you could speak or sign, and know that you and I connected on such an intense level, that I knew you were mine, and you knew I was yours without any words at all.

The days pass so quickly, you can roll over and sit up. You want so much to feed yourself and get from point A to point B with no help from your father or I, and don’t worry, some day you will. But until then, I relish in the fact that when you are frustrated because you can’t quite do them yet I get to help you.

With all the love in my heart,
Mom