Some people have been asking my a copy of my birth plan (sorry Shell, I forgot you asked for this SOOO Long ago) And as for everyone else who has asked here ya go. I hope it gives some insight to my ideals about birth. I just hope we can kind of stay within the boundaries I have laid out.

Attendees: Jess, Becki, (Mom/Bobbi if I need the extra support)
Environment:
Dim the lights! Like this is not going to be hard enough without me worrying about whether my mascara is running =)
Music/Noise: I have prepared some music I think will be soothing/relaxing if needed. It is on my laptop.
Movies: Disney is a great distraction, also available on my laptop – (easier to see if I need to change positions and cannot see the TV in the labor room)
Cameras and Video:
At this time I would prefer no pictures to be taken of the actual birth, (during labor is OK). The video camera will be in the bag… just in case we change our minds last minute.
Clothing:
I would prefer to wear my own clothing for as long as possible. If there are reasons to believe that I would need emergency assistance at the beginning of labor, I will wear a hospital gown for convenience of the staff.
Positioning:
I would prefer to make the decision about what positions I will labor and deliver at that time. I would like the freedom to choose what is comfortable for me, and stay as mobile as possible.
Pain Management:
I am planning a natural childbirth, to assist in this, I have a doula to assist me. I would prefer a room with a jetted tub and would prefer to change rooms in the middle of labor if one becomes available after my initial check in. I am aware pain medications/epidurals are available to me, if I need them, I will ask, please do not offer them to me.
Birth:
I would prefer to let things progress naturally and try natural natural methods if labor stalls rather than use Pitocin.
I would like to avoid episiotomy at all costs. I would like assistance in “easing” the baby out rather than forcing the baby out with unneeded pushing. I would like to use my body and Dr.’s advice as a guide to pushing. The decision of a tear vs. episiotomy will be left to the discretion of Dr. Kastelar.
Please just get rid of the Placenta, we really aren’t interested in seeing it.
Baby:
Jess would not like to catch the baby or cut the cord. He is aware the option is open to him, but please do not offer it to him. He will make it known if he changes his mind.
I would like to hold our baby immediately after birth. I would like to hold her for as long as possible and have only the minimum test preformed directly after birth. Please postpone all tests as long as possible, in order for Jess and I to bond as quickly as possible.
I would like to breastfeed as soon after birth as possible. My doula will assist me.
I would like Jess, myself or Becki to be with the baby at all times.
I would like as many newborn tests done in the room with me as can be done.
I would like the baby to “room-in” with me, and Jess would like a cot available to him for sleeping in the room as well.

Mom,
I write this letter with all due respect. I appreciate the fact that you have carried me for the last 35 weeks, and I realize you love me enough to never let me go, however; I don’t have room to stretch anymore! It’s driving me crazy, like when you go to a movie and all the good seats are taken and you have to sit next to some fat man who smells of Parsley and your chair is broken. It’s just generally uncomfortable, and makes you a bit sqeamish. That is how I feel.

Now, like I said, not to be disrespectful as I am sure you feel you know what you are doing and all… but I am also getting frustrated with the fact that you are COMPLETELY ignoring my efforts to escape… I mean… well yes, escape.

I push and twist and kick and punch and there seems to be no progress being made at all. I keep thinking I will eventually make a crack or dent and be able to work my way to the surface, but my quarters just keep getting smaller. I am fairley certain that capital punishment is just illegal in the womb as it is in 16 states, I feel as though you are slowly trying to suffocate me, this just will not do. I am warning you, I will get out BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! I have mail ordered an escape kit from this boy.
It will arrive in a plain manilla envelope marked “Stewie Griffen Co.” When it arrives, please swallow it.

There are times when I feel like Quasimoto: (before he goes down into the village)I walk with a limp and slightly hunched over at times. I am unaware of just how much space I take up and how oblivious I am to the world outside of my own. I am wrapped up in the “pregnant bubble” and not aware of what people may or may not be saying. Everyone assures me that people are probably saying. “Oh look at her, she looks ready to pop!” or “oh that poor girl…” But there is a small part of me that knows that my twin is out there saying, “Wow, she looks terrible, look at those swollen ankles and knees. He hair is so disheveled. What was she thinking when she put that on?” But, I also know I would have been saying “Well she’s pregnant, so it’s ok.”

Now, the nice person inside of me, realizes I should take this opportunity to be on the other side of the spectrum and remember how I feel, and use that in the future to become a better person. The problem is… being a “bitch”, or as my good friend Crystal puts it, “straighforward” “outspoken” is to much fun. I realize I do not always look my best. I realize some days my shoes don’t match my purse and I forgot a necklace, or there is a stain on my shirt. Everyone deserves days when they just don’t look “up to par”. I have to stop and ask myself, the women and men I criticize, did I catch them on that day? or do they just dress like that all the time?

Fortunately, I am, surrounded by women who know how to dress and dress appropriately for the situation. There will always be that stranger that I point out to Jess or he points out to me, and we just laugh. “Oh! that is NOT OK” He says to me. I giggle and agree, and we go on with life.

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she’s born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you’ve been nervous about preterm labor, you’ll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

Today was Mothers Day =) What a day, I woke up slowly and snuggled with Jess for a while, after which he surprised me with the Sweeny Todd Collectors Edition. (woot! Can’t get enough Johnny!) Then we went to Ikea to FINALLY get the Drawers for my mom, and met her at the Bowling Alley. Jess Bowled a 124, the highest of anyone playing…in that game. I sat on the sidelines and acted as a novelty as our little “bundle of joy” proceeded to kick me to tears. However, Mom and Tony both got to feel her move and that made it worth it.

We then went to Mi Casita for a Mexican Mothers Day brunch. You know the food is good when you and two other tables are the only “white folk” in the place. The owner even came over and warned us the buffet was “very authentic” and if we didn’t like it we could order from the menu and he wouldn’t charge us for what we took from the buffet. Nice guy.

We all overate, Jess went back home (he had a tooth pulled last Friday and was not felling well) My mom and Grandma went to see What happens in Vegas a new Camren Diaz/Ashton Kutcher movie. It was really cute.

Did I mention why my Grandmother is in town? She came up for the baby shower… it was a total shock and surprise. Here is proof:

Yep that’s a good pic, the others I am making such silly faces because I am crying so much. I’ll think about uploading them later. It was a great surprise and a great gift! They had apparently been planning it for over a month. Way to go keeping a secret Mom! The baby Shower was a huge success and everyone had a wonderful time. A great big thanks and kisses out to Stephanie for opening her home to so many people and to Ali and Melissa for doing such a great job planning everything, thanks to Victoria as well for video taping.

I will upload pics and videos soon, but that will be quite a project. =)

Belly Size: 44″
Weight: *gasp* 191 (mental note, if I don’t have a 40 pound baby… get gym membership)

The anorexic tapeworm is back, but this time its trying to get out. My stomach rises and falls in waves, and it still explodes on occasion. Jess just laughs and pokes at it.

I realized today that objects are closer than they appear. I have just 57 days if I go to my due date of June 22nd, 50 days if I go to my doctors inital assesment date of June 15th, and if she is really excited and gets here as early as June 1st, only 36 days to go! Right. Laundry. Showers. Sheets. Decorations. Ikea. Cleaning. Set up. Thank you notes. Car Seats. All things I have to do before the baby comes. Now If I take the panic out of that and think the way I do…logically, I have approximately 8 weekends until June 22nd (being optimistic of course), and I listed 9 things above, Laundry can be done in bits and pieces, so really its only 8. So, If I aim to get one thing done per weekend, I can totally do this.

Ikea. I think we will go to Ikea this weekend. We need to get the changing table from my mom, but in order to do that, we need to get a new chest of drawers for her.
She knows the one she wants…its retro. I like it.

I talked to her yesterday about it. The changing table is at her school in Olympus Cove, they have been using it to store glue sticks and hand soap and other such wonderful kid-items. So, in order for me to “steal” it, I need to replace it. So there are not boxes of Glue sticks and puddles of handsoap all over the place (what as mess!) So yes, Ikea this weekend.

Jess and I also decided we need to get down and repurchase the camcorder and cameras. Circuit City tonight.

So much to do… so little time, everyone send super happy, super quick thoughts my way so I can get all this stuff done with a smile and done, well… super quick!

How your baby’s growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. She weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. She can turn her head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath her skin. She’s probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby’s kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

I read this outloud to Jess just now and we both laughed outloud. “heading into a growth spurt” hahahahaha! What has she been doing? might I remind you she has gained 3 weeks on this pregnancy and it looks like she may gain more all said and done. Might I remind you mu original due date was in July and I am now pushing early Fathers Day… So her growth spurt has been happening on and off since week 18. I fear the growth spurt she is heading into!

I find it harder than ever now to not sleep on my back. That is by far the most comfortable position, but I wake up short of breath and know it is also decreasing oxygen to the baby. *Uugghh* I reiterate. Anyone who says, I love and/or miss being pregnant does not remember the facts.

A baby asked God, ‘They tell me you are sending me to earth soon, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?’ God said, ‘Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.’

The child further inquired, ‘But tell me, here in heaven I don’t have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.’ God said, ‘Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel’s love and be very happy.’

Again the child asked, ‘And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don’t know the language?’ God said, ‘Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.”

‘Who will protect me?’ God said, ‘Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.’

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, ‘God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.’

God said, ‘You will simply call her, ‘Mom.’

–(This was sent to me in an email, author unknown)

Dear Mom and Dad,

Things are getting a bit cramped in here, and I am thinking about a transfer to the “real world”. However, I am not quite sure that I am ready yet. I like how warm it is in here. I heard the weather forecast this morning.. Rain and Snow? Come on, GET REAL! I’m not coming out until there is no sign of snow in the forecast for months! How does June Sound? Yep, that Dr. K is pretty smart, predicting the day I want to come out. He must be able to read my mind.

So, Dad, I was thinking, since Mom gets to feel the kicking and moving all the time, I figured I would try to show up around Fathers Day (I figure that will make Grumpa happy too). It is the least I can do as a Thank you for helping to create me. But don’t be too mad if I don’t make it on time, I am a woman after all and I have to prepare for my big debut. My hair is just not cooperating and I simply must get a manicure before showing my face. But keep in mind even though I may be late, I won’t dissapoint.

And Mom, I love you, but enough with the spicy food! You think it gives you heartburn? My stomach is tiny compared to yours and I just can’t take it anymore! Can we switch to Chinese over Mexican? Please!?! Trust me we will both sleep better all said and done. But, keep those belly rubs coming (you too Dad!) I love em!

Whew! Typing from the womb is tough, and I am getting sleepy, besides water aerobics start in 20 minutes and I don’t want to be late. I simply must nap before I start otherwise I won’t have the energy to finish the entire 1 hour class.

Much Love

Kick my butt! I guess that is a good thing though.. Since my butt seems to be getting so much bigger. Also, the feeling of being weighltess in the water is awesome! However, getting out of the water and remembering how much I really weigh… not so awesome.