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Adeline,
One Year.

I let your daddy wake you this morning. As I lay in bed listening to him tell you happy birthday through the baby monitor, I thought to myself, “How did we get here? How did one year pass by so quickly?” I relished in that thought as you giggled and said good morning to the animals painted on your walls.

I didn’t want to get out of bed, for purely selfish reasons. I didn’t want you to look one. I didn’t want to admit that you were actually growing up. Next year you won’t be my baby anymore, you’ll be my toddler, you’ll be my big girl. You will be…Addie.

Oh Addie, my love for you has grown so immensely I cannot put it into words. A tear fell from my cheek this morning as I pictured you so small on your real birth day. Another fell when I knew I was going to get out of bed and see you, one. I took a few breaths and climbed out of bed, there you were in your high chair eating strawberries and toast with Daddy. You looked different. I am not sure how, but in my eyes you looked… older. I have seen you sit in that chair hundreds of time, and yet, I haven’t ever noticed the way you hold your spoon just so as you lift it to your mouth. I haven’t noticed how you raise your eyebrows just moments before a big 3 tooth grin crosses your lips. Why now? Why do I have to notice these things now, on your birthday. It makes it seem so much harder to accept the fact that one year has passed in just the blink of an eye.

I owed you this letter yesterday, but I couldn’t bare to spend one minute away from you. When you were napping in the morning, I lay down on the floor of your nursery and slept, but only partially slept. I wanted to listen to you breathe and dream. What do you dream? Do you dream of dogs and birds? of Mommy and Daddy? Of bubbles and bathtubs? I want to freeze time with each sigh you sigh in your sleep. I want to hold that peaceful moment in my heart forever.

My dearest Addie, you must know your Daddy and I love you. There is just not enough time to show you how much. As each day passes, and we express to you our love, we wish for just one more minute, just one more moment that we can kiss and hug you. Just one more second to let you rest your head on our shoulders, and just one more moment to be in your presence.

But one more minute is never enough, for as that minute passes, we wish for one more. And now, 525,600 minutes has passed, and for those 525,600 minutes we have loved you. We will love you no less for the next. For in another 525,600 minutes you will be two, and I will be writing you another letter about how I still love you just as much.

With all the love we can give, and just a little bit more,
Mommy and Daddy

“How old are you Addie?” ONE!