1. I lose tiny socks in the wash
2. I can shower, wash and dry my hair, and get dressed in less than ten minutes
3. I fantasize about what I would swap for a good eight hours of sleep
4. I wonder whether it’s possible to get all the crud out of Addie’s skin folds
5. Thank God for caffeine
6. I pretend I don’t smell a dirty diaper when I her hand her to Jess
7. My left hip is now 2 inches lower than my right
8. I have come up with a soothing mantra — for me — for when I take her rectal temperature
9. I pack everything Addie could possibly need for a weekend and forget my sunglasses or toothbrush
10. I detest traffic — it means I’m either late picking her up, or stuck in the car even longer with the fusspot
11. I hear about criminals on the news and wonder what their moms are doing
12. I am excited when she grows out of one size and into the next
13. I am sad to put away what she’s grown out of
14. I hear myself telling brand-new moms that the first 12 weeks really do fly by, even though it pissed me off when people told me that
15. I feel naked when I walk outside alone

Why I will look better bald:
I forget all about my difficult day with Addie when I finally see her sleeping peacefully at night
I marvel at the volumes of unconditional love I have for my most wonderful achievement — Adeline