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Archive for May, 2008

I had a doctors appointment on Wednesday. Turns out my baby who was so excited to get out… is not so excited anymore. So the end is no longer near the end is far. For those who may be confused as to what “Near” and “Far” mean, here is Grover to explain. Keep in mind.. the baby is Near… the Baby is Far.

So as far as the update goes, my doc says I am just a little bit more thinned out and a litte bit more dialated, she is also sitting just a little bit lower. Take “little bit” for whatever you will, I didn’t ask for details. It was just disappointing all around, (for Jess too, he had hope for better news).

They did strip my membranes and no it doesn’t hurt! I think the women that complain about it hurting are also the women that ask for an epidural as soon as the first contraction hits. What was uncomfortable was the 24 hours following as mild cramping turned to heavy cramping and heavy cramping turned to irregular contractions. After the first 24 hours things have settled. All pain has seemed to fade and the contractions, though still very irregular, are slowing down as well. They seem to be fading back into Braxton Hicks. Which is ok, considering those are opening my cervix with little to no pain.. Woo-hoo! The more Braxton Hicks the fewer real ones I say. I should have been counting them. That way when I am in labor I can be thankful that I didn’t have to experience those as real ones.

In other news, for those of you who guessed that I would be having this baby after June 16th… YOU’RE WRONG! (the doc will induce me no later than the 16th) Sorry, so feel free to guess again. And for those who guessed May 30th or before… sorry, I really did try to have this baby! Promise!

Or at least it better be! The pains in my pelvis have not gotten any easier and to add to the trouble, my lower back has started to hurt. From everything I have read this is a good sign, however, I am more apt to believe this is just from me being so dreadfully uncomfortable at night and “tossing and turning” (or lack there of). You know how it is, you can’t sleep at night, you can’t get comfortable, so your back hurts the next day.
I have another Dr. appt with Dr. K tomorrow, it will be interesting to see how things are progressing. Everything has happened early thus far, but now that we are down to the wire, things seem to be slowing down. Breifly this weekend I seemed to be a bit less swollen, but that must have just been a nice break for the long Memorial Day weekend as I am back to bloat this morning. C’est la vie.

Your baby is gaining about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She’s shedding most of the downy hair that covered her body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Next week, your baby will be considered full-term. Most likely she’s in a head-down position, but if she isn’t, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an external cephalic version, where she’ll try to turn your baby by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

My mom called me this morning to tell me that she was standing her classroom snacking on some Havarti Cheese. She offered some to one of the other teachers. The other teacher told her she really liked it and and asked what kind of cheese it was. My mom replied. “Havarti”.
A few minutes later a little boy in her class came up and asked if they were having cheese for snack that day. My mom replied with a gentle “No, not today”.
The little boy looked relevied and said: “Oh good, I don’t think I would like Farty Cheese.”

Your baby doesn’t have much room to maneuver now that she’s over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew). Because it’s so snug in your womb, she isn’t likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks should remain about the same. Her kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete, he’ll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

This is a picture of my Mom (left) and my Boss (right) They were born 2 years apart and on different coasts… but they could be sisters!! What do you think?
( I don’t know why the picture is so “grainy” )

Now I understand that you go to get a muffin at Einsteins or Starbucks and the top is the best part. But I don’t know if I would have ever named a cereal after that portion of the pastry. Nor do I think I would have added “SUPER SIZE” to the bag… for not only is a Muffin Top the best part of the Muffin, it is also a disgusting condition women and men get when they gain weight and forget to tell their clothes… Case in Point.

This is not the best photo ever as it was taken on my cell phone and I think the woman was aware that I was taking her photo. But hey, if you are going to leave the house… all is fair.

At some point in time I am sure this woman was a size 6, however, her size 10 hips must be fighting with her size 6 pants as no one told them they don’t fit anymore. It didn’t help that she was also wearing a top that was too small as well.

Now I am certainly an advocate for strong self esteem and a great body image no matter what your size… but I am also a believer that you need to dress for your size as well. You will not catch me wearing belly shirts and my pre-pregnancy pants 2 weeks after the arrival of my child for one reason and one reason alone… YUCK! Nuff said.

Some people have been asking my a copy of my birth plan (sorry Shell, I forgot you asked for this SOOO Long ago) And as for everyone else who has asked here ya go. I hope it gives some insight to my ideals about birth. I just hope we can kind of stay within the boundaries I have laid out.

Attendees: Jess, Becki, (Mom/Bobbi if I need the extra support)
Environment:
Dim the lights! Like this is not going to be hard enough without me worrying about whether my mascara is running =)
Music/Noise: I have prepared some music I think will be soothing/relaxing if needed. It is on my laptop.
Movies: Disney is a great distraction, also available on my laptop – (easier to see if I need to change positions and cannot see the TV in the labor room)
Cameras and Video:
At this time I would prefer no pictures to be taken of the actual birth, (during labor is OK). The video camera will be in the bag… just in case we change our minds last minute.
Clothing:
I would prefer to wear my own clothing for as long as possible. If there are reasons to believe that I would need emergency assistance at the beginning of labor, I will wear a hospital gown for convenience of the staff.
Positioning:
I would prefer to make the decision about what positions I will labor and deliver at that time. I would like the freedom to choose what is comfortable for me, and stay as mobile as possible.
Pain Management:
I am planning a natural childbirth, to assist in this, I have a doula to assist me. I would prefer a room with a jetted tub and would prefer to change rooms in the middle of labor if one becomes available after my initial check in. I am aware pain medications/epidurals are available to me, if I need them, I will ask, please do not offer them to me.
Birth:
I would prefer to let things progress naturally and try natural natural methods if labor stalls rather than use Pitocin.
I would like to avoid episiotomy at all costs. I would like assistance in “easing” the baby out rather than forcing the baby out with unneeded pushing. I would like to use my body and Dr.’s advice as a guide to pushing. The decision of a tear vs. episiotomy will be left to the discretion of Dr. Kastelar.
Please just get rid of the Placenta, we really aren’t interested in seeing it.
Baby:
Jess would not like to catch the baby or cut the cord. He is aware the option is open to him, but please do not offer it to him. He will make it known if he changes his mind.
I would like to hold our baby immediately after birth. I would like to hold her for as long as possible and have only the minimum test preformed directly after birth. Please postpone all tests as long as possible, in order for Jess and I to bond as quickly as possible.
I would like to breastfeed as soon after birth as possible. My doula will assist me.
I would like Jess, myself or Becki to be with the baby at all times.
I would like as many newborn tests done in the room with me as can be done.
I would like the baby to “room-in” with me, and Jess would like a cot available to him for sleeping in the room as well.

Mom,
I write this letter with all due respect. I appreciate the fact that you have carried me for the last 35 weeks, and I realize you love me enough to never let me go, however; I don’t have room to stretch anymore! It’s driving me crazy, like when you go to a movie and all the good seats are taken and you have to sit next to some fat man who smells of Parsley and your chair is broken. It’s just generally uncomfortable, and makes you a bit sqeamish. That is how I feel.

Now, like I said, not to be disrespectful as I am sure you feel you know what you are doing and all… but I am also getting frustrated with the fact that you are COMPLETELY ignoring my efforts to escape… I mean… well yes, escape.

I push and twist and kick and punch and there seems to be no progress being made at all. I keep thinking I will eventually make a crack or dent and be able to work my way to the surface, but my quarters just keep getting smaller. I am fairley certain that capital punishment is just illegal in the womb as it is in 16 states, I feel as though you are slowly trying to suffocate me, this just will not do. I am warning you, I will get out BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! I have mail ordered an escape kit from this boy.
It will arrive in a plain manilla envelope marked “Stewie Griffen Co.” When it arrives, please swallow it.