I don't have time to Blog!

10/30/07

So I have felt funny for about the last two weeks. I thought nothing of it. I’m stressed from trying to find a new place. The flu is going around. Emotionally, I was just tired as well. Lots of friends had almost turned their backs on me when Jess and I split. Not understanding any reasoning, not asking any questions, not seeing that we both felt it was for the best. Besides that it was only from the END February until the BEGINNING of March when we were forced back into each others arms when I ruptured my Achilles.

I was stubborn and refused to admit I loved him more then…

Regardless, we ended up back together and things have been the best they have ever been in 4 years time!

ANYWAY -

So, Jess and I have spent the last 45 days or so trying to find a house big enough for us, our stuff and the dogs. This is REALLY hard right now. The housing market is crashing as people can’t afford their mortgages and as one last resource they try to rent out their home for the mortgage cost. (ie: a 2 bedroom house for $2500) So, needless to say, if something was available for less and one thousand… it wasn’t available for long.

Last night had some strange feelings, odd stomach pains. I thought to myself, ‘this is very unusual’ I wonder… no it’s just stress, but when the feeling was still there this morning I decided to take a pregnancy test. At this point. I didn’t know if it would be negative or positive, and either way I was fine. So I peed on the little stick, washed my hands and got dressed. 3 or so minutes later I walked casually back into the bathroom, and there staring me in the face was the test.

I guess I always thought as a little girl when I saw that I would act like those girls on TV and just and scream and woo-hoo and call my best girlfriends. I think deep down inside I’d known I was pregnant long before, so staring at this test I cocked my head to one side and smiled. I didn’t know what to think or feel. I was excited, but so overwhelmed nothing happened. Then, about 4 minutes later… i did. I smiled ran back into the bathroom grabbed the test and took about 20 pictures of it trying to decide how I was going to tell Jess. The pictures were fuzzy because I couldn’t hold the camera still. I finally got ONE that worked. Then I thought, I don’t want to send this to him over the phone or email, I wanna be there to see his face.

This has been the longest day ever and now I have 2 hours left until I meet with him at 5:30 to sign the lease on the new place. I still haven’t decided how to tell him. I have the cutest idea for telling the families, but I am just dumbfounded when it comes to Jess.

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